Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Horror Movie Rules

As many people know, there are always rules to everykind of movie out there; including the horror movie. Last night, while I was at the bar for wings, I was having a conversation with a couple of guys, who are weekly patrons like me, about certain movies, and the rules that are usually followed. Yes, we all agreed that these rules are followed whenever you watch a horror movie, yes, any horror movie.

The four of us stated that there were at least five count'em five rules that are followed in every horror movie, that you will see, or that you have ever heard of. The reason why these rules, which I will get to in a few, are followed, is because if one type of formula works, hey stick with it.

Rule 1) The "minority" must die before the movie is over! The reason why this is one of the rules is because of a few things. One of the reasons why the minority will dies is because they are 1-stupid enough to go after the killer; 2-They always split up or get separated from the rest of the group; 3-They have to be the "hero;" 4-they leave the scene so you know they die the second they leave.

Rule 2) The Virgin Dies! Why? Because the dumbass has nobody or nothing to preoccupy their time with. They wonder off from the group because every one else is having sex (I get to this group soon), and they feel uncomfortable. Another reason is because they want to see if the "myths" they've heard about were true (ie. the remake of Friday the 13th).

Rule 3) The couple having sex dies! The reason for this has to be obvious. Do I really need to go into this? Answer: Yes! The main reason why they so is simple. They seperate from the group, start getting it on, and one hears something and the guy has to check it out, guy is killed, girl is killed.

Rule 4) The topless girl dies? Simply because nobody goes skinny dipping by themselves. Question: when something happens why do they think it is a friend.

Rule 5) The killer catches up to them. They think that the killer (ie Jason, Pinhead, Michael Myers, Freddy Kruger, and Chucky) are dead and they run away. Somehow unbeknownst to the viewer, the killer finds a way to some how catch up, and try and kill them, but the person gets saved.

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